NASCAR WILL BORROW RIVALRIES...
September 3, 2008
When the Republican Party changed its official motto to "We Love Teen Pregnancy," organizations across the great land of Freecheezeburgerz began looking for similarly audacious ways to capitalize on difficult news.
And with the NFL season starting, the summer Sunday wannabe juggernaut that is NASCAR (it really was almost a juggernaut once, and still could be) has decided to merge with the NFL because, according to a source who knows the name of NASCAR president Brian France, it simply can’t find the proper rival for Kyle Busch.
And so on Saturday night this week at Richmond International Raceway, to mimic
the opening of the NFL season, Kyle Busch will drive a car with the Green Bay Packers logo on it and Carl Edwards has been selected to drive the car with the Minnesota Vikings logo.
Busch and Edwards, who is the latest pretend arch-rival to the 23-year-old Busch, have been told by someone in the WWE office of NASCAR to anticipate how the Monday Night match-up between the longtime NFC Central rivals will go and then try to do the same thing on the racetrack at Richmond.
"If you can’t beat them, join them," said France, according to an anonymous source who says he didn't really hear France say that, but thought that if you got enough liquor into France, he very well could say that.
Like most fair-and-balanced news organizations, if we hear something that might maybe be true and we want to believe it, we report it as fact.
The NFL, offering its own imaginary Press Release in response, said simply, "We are Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans, like everyone who follows NASCAR."
And then the juggernaut NFL mentioned Packers/Bears, Patriots/Jets, Cowboys/Redskins, and Browns/Steelers as examples of real rivalries.
Jeff Gordon, finishing 27th, tried to argue that rivalries still exist in NASCAR - but he finished 27th.
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