Pete The Plumber Is Pissed
October 17, 2008
I'm Pete, I'm a plumber, and I'm peeved. That's why I'm staging an impromptu presidential debate here in my Freecheezeburgerz bathroom.
As your moderator, first I'd like to tell both of you knuckleheads that you've ruined my business.
Both candidates: Yes, blame Washington!
Pete The Plumber: You morons! You've made Joe The Plumber into the WalMart of the plumbing world now. What about me?
John McCain: Pete, my friend, I believe in "No plumber left behind."
Barack Obama: I believe we all have to go to the bathroom sometime.
McCain: That's not fair, Barack! Can you guys excuse me?
Minutes later, McCain invites the other two back into the "debate room." Pete now has change that he didn't have before. He flips a coin.
Pete The Plumber: Welcome back to my bathroom presidential debate. My question to both of you is... Will you do a commercial for me like you did for Joe the plumber?
McCain: Pete, I'm a maverick. Unless you are undecided or leaning my way, I'm not even going to pretend to care about you. I do, however, want to give your rich boss a break.
Obama: Frankly, I don't much care for you either, Pete, but I AM going to pretend. I'm a way better politician. So now I'm going dazzle you with eloquence and baffle you with bromides of brilliance while I use voluminous vague terms such as vision and leadership.
Pete The Plumber: I’m inspired.
McCain: Say, Pete. Do you know Joe? He might be a plumber and I think he supports me. Joe is my friend, my friend.
Obama: Pete, the rest of the country supports me. I mean everybody. It's going to be something like 300 million to 1.
McCain: I am a maverick. I might not vote for you.
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