Sarah Palin Is a Robot
October 9, 2008
Sarah Palin is a robot controlled by Dick Cheney.
"The first clue was the robotic winking," said the anonymous lead investigator for Freecheezeburgerz, which pieced together shredded classified documents and cheeseburger wrappers to prove the case enough to speculate publicly.
The investigation has been going on for twice as long
as Sarah Palin was vetted by the McCain For President Campaign. The investigation was initiated by a 3 a.m. phone call to the headquarters of Freecheezeburgerz from someone who called herself "Hillary."
"They can do that kind of stuff," said the caller. "I’ve seen it done before."
But experts say the computer that translates Dick Cheney's growl into "You-betcha" Wasilla folksiness is giant leap forward in artificial intelligence compared to the flawed "Monica" prototype introduced in the late 1990s.
The Sarah Palin robot was assembled by a topnotch plastic surgeon using simple parts from Radio Shack, Walmart, and Home Depot. The Sarah Palin Project, according to experts, has outperformed all expectations and experts hope to copy the prototype for use in upcoming elections across the nation.
"The unexpected glitch that occurred during the Katie Couric interview is a bug that is being worked on," said the most recent classified report that could be imagined.
"The final proof," said the anonymous investigator, "was when she was seen palling around with other robots or people who have heard the word "robot."
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